life

The past couple of months, I have been a prisoner of my own existence.
Trapped by time and by this thing that is more of less my life
My grandma has died from small cell lung cancer (the worst kind)
My depression pills don't seem to be working any more.
I still go to my dead grandmothers house every other weekend to visit my mother.
Who by the way is a nervous wreck because today I found out that is in the hospital due to some heart problems that i don't even know about. And for stress testing. My mom says he wont die but i cant trust her no one even told her that her own mother would die in less than 6 months, i mean damn I'm 14 and I knew about it before her so I had to tell my mom that her mother, my loving caring sweet grandmother would die in 6 months. And when we were up in the hospital saying goodbye to grandma. Papa Lenny promised that wouldn't die and that he would be there for me for a really long time. And him being in the hospital right now is like scaring me. I hope with all my being that he will be okay.